We're coping and working as a team. I do my best to foster as much normalcy as possible in the lives of each of our children and myself. Trying to stay healthy is draining William's mental capacity. This is not to say William isn't involved in our lives; however, his dialysis-induced fatigue or unpredictable stretches of feeling well makes it difficult for him to be fully present. A and F aren't small children, nevertheless, they're still youngish and in school. As they've yet to mature into fully functioning and independant adults, they continue to rely on our financial and, more crucially, emotional support. I believe that their future success is dependent on both of us NOT parentifying them because we feel anxious or worried. They're both supportive and helpful in ways they can, but they need the freedom to focus on their studies, part-time jobs, and social lives if they're to develop into well-adjusted adults. When all of this started, I sought help from a therapist. I recently bid goodbye to therapy for the time being since I came away from my sessions understanding that I'm a lot stronger than I thought I was. I've been actively searching for employment (while juggling regular household chores, the upkeep of this website and donor search, and community volunteer work); I've restarted driving after a 20-year hiatus. Above all, I refuse to parentify our children. Yes, there have been difficult, demanding, and physically and mentally taxing moments. Maintaining a sense of environmental normalcy at home means (doing my best trying to) keep up with running a home, such as laundry, supply and grocery runs, keeping the kitchen clean and organized for daily meal prep, etc...tasks that, if not dealt with can become overwhelming if William's health necessitates another hospitalization. Among all this, I do try to squeeze out some moments to knit or bake while fantasizing about an all-inclusive vacation where all I have to do is lounge and decide what to eat from the buffet. Our adolescent son has matured much more during this past year and has taken on additional housework while keeping up his grades and working part-time. When our daughter comes home from university, she also pitches in to help. I'm also grateful to have a sister who has taken on most of the tasks of supporting our aging parents' needs. This crisis would have been a lot harder without her. We're also very grateful for William's wide circle of friends and chosen family in our lives. Knowing you're all there has made this crisis bearable for us — you know who you are! Finally, this past year, my motto has been "It could've been worst." ‐–-------‐‐--------------- Myth: Only one volunteer is required to become a living kidney donor. There are strict health criteria for volunteers. It is necessary to have multiple volunteers. Not everyone who fills out a form will be a suitable kidney donor.
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IrminaHuman. Spouse. Parent. Daughter. Sister. Niece. Cousin. Friend. Neighbour, Acquaintance. Stranger. Archives
April 2024
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